Mellocello Isn’t Booze. It’s Better.
Americans are drinking less alcohol, and they’re not replacing it with LaCroix and regret. They’re reaching for low-dose THC beverages like MelloCello™…not to get lit, but to feel good, stay sharp, and wake up ready to function. It’s not a trend. It’s a correction.
Forbes called it out plainly: “Low-dose THC beverages and hemp-derived wellness products have moved from the margins into the mainstream…often framed as tools for nervous system regulation, recovery and relief rather than intoxication.” Translation: people are done pretending alcohol is helping. They want a buzz that doesn’t wreck their body or their next day.
That’s why we made MelloCello™. It’s not some corner-cutting blend of leftovers and loopholes. It’s crafted in small batches using natural lemon flavor, real cane sugar, and federally legal hemp-derived Delta-9 THC. It’s chill without chaos. A smoother path, not a one-way trip to blackout city.
You want options?
We’ve got the 750ml still Original…smooth, mellow, perfect for pouring over ice and reclaiming your evening.
We’ve got the 12oz Carbonated version…bright, fizzy, a lemon spritz with a hemp wink that goes from wine walks to Wednesday wind-downs.
Lauren Miller from WIMS put it clean: “Many are turning to THC beverages as an alternative to alcohol that still offers a light buzz, but without the next-day consequences.” That’s MelloCello™. A soft landing. A reset. Not a regret.
And it’s working. Until now.
In November, Congress passed and Trump signed a bill that changes the federal definition of hemp. Starting November 13, 2026, if your beverage contains more than 0.4mg total THC, it’s toast…federally illegal. Doesn’t matter if it’s Delta-9 from hemp. Doesn’t matter if it’s tested, safe, and sold responsibly. If it exceeds that cap, 0.4mg total THC, it’s out.
As Forbes reports, “This provision would re-criminalize or effectively eliminate many hemp-derived THC products…that were being sold outside state-licensed cannabis systems.” That means thousands of products, made by small businesses like ours, disappear overnight…while the corporate cannabis crowd and Big Booze toast their monopoly in dispensary parking lots. “Over 350,000 jobs in the United States… are gone overnight. You’ve got a $25 billion industry… and it will be devastating for farmers.” This isn’t about safety. It’s about control.
MelloCello™ isn’t a loophole. It’s a lifeline. We made it for people who are done chasing oblivion and just want to feel human again. No booze. No blackout. No hangover. No liver tax. Just lemon, hemp, and peace of mind.
So stock up. Sip smart. Stay loud. And if the regulators want to kill an entire industry just to protect the old ones, they better be ready for a fight.
Let your voice be heard here: https://speak4.io/lp/vj018sbu?ts=1768441917
MelloCello™ is available at the following locations:
Slaphappy Hemporium, Village Market Hermann, Macadoodles Union, Missouri Trading Post Hermann, Mabuhay Owensville, Canna Corner New Florence, Ozark Nutrition Rolla.
For now.
